Jealousy

We're often made to believe that jealousy is bad, it's a red flag, why would someone have so much jealousy in them? 

You know what I think? I think jealousy is painful, it's what makes us want things we can never have.

Jealousy to me is seeing a kid sit on her dad's shoulder, looking at the world around her while her dad looks at his.

Jealousy to me is listening to a girl with a beautiful voice, a girl who can lighten up the room with her mere presence, a girl who can dance like no one's watching especially when everyone is. 

Jealousy, to me, is looking at a group of friends laughing their hearts out, looking at each other such that they wouldn’t be anywhere else.

Jealousy, to me, is looking at someone who never knew what it means to not be able to look at themselves in the mirror for more than a second.

To me, it’s how one can grasp things faster than I ever can.

To me, it’s hearing someone say how their parents love each other the most and would want to have a relationship like theirs.

Jealousy to me is looking at people in their college, enjoying their best life when I was busy picking myself up.

Because I know I can never be like them. 

Jealousy has never been materialistic to me. Because I know I can somehow someday get those materialistic things, but I can never be the girl on her dad's shoulders, never be the girl who can feel confident looking at herself, never be the girl who will lighten up the room.

You can’t do anything about that, can you?

Jealousy will always have a space in your life because there are things in life that we don’t have any control over. There are things in life that we yearn for the most, but see someone we don’t even know personally have it all, and all that we can do is live vicariously through them.